Tips of love to add to your love relationship Part 2

Sep 11th, 2009

by min.

10 tips of love to give you love ideas to add sparks in your love life

11. Relax together.Couples leading normal busy modern lives can’t hope to rush around all day and half the evening, then just flick a switch and instantly turn into revved up, ready-to-go sex partners.

tips of love

You generally need at least an hour together beforehand to tune in to each other, relax, forget the other pressures of the day and start to think about the pleasures you could share.

This time spent out of bed is as crucial a part of loveplay as kissing, cuddling and touching.

It’s working wives who usually miss out most on this needed relaxation as they try to fit in chores after a day at work.

So if you’re a working wife, make sure your man realises the connection between relaxation for you and nookie for him.

12. If you argue over how often you make love, negotiate a compromise.
One of the most common sexual conflicts between couples who have been together some time is how often they are going to make love.

If one feels ready to make love rather more frequently than the other it quickly leads to an impasse, where one feels they are always being badgered for sex and so wants it less and less, and the other feels they are always being rejected, so wants it more and more.

It can lead to a tremendous easing of tension all round to bring the issue out into the open and work out a compromise. If the husband wants to make love, say, four times a week and the wife once, they can agree they will make love twice a week.

It may sound cold to agree which nights that will be, but in fact it usually means they feel far more relaxed and loving together.

The husband knows that tonight may not be the night, but he can rest assured that Friday will be.

The wife can give her husband a kiss and cuddle on Wednesday and Thursday – which reassures him how much he is loved – without her feeling that will inevitably lead to a demand from him for sex.

13. Remember there’s more to sex than intercourse.
Don’t feel that sex always has to end with intercourse. It helps tremendously to break that deadening feeling of routine if at least sometimes you suggest you give each other satisfaction in other ways.
It is a particularly helpful variation for couples who have the sort of conflicts over frequency described above.

A husband who maintains he is too tired to make love fully once a week could still probably manage to bring her to climax another time through touching and caressing – which, of course, might have the effect of convincing him he has more energy than he thought!

14. Don’t rush.
Excitement and the thrill of the new are the pleasures of a fresh sexual encounter.

They inevitably wear off after a while but are more than compensated for in rich lasting relationships by a more intense pleasure and passionate intimacy.

But to find these you have to be prepared to take time over your loving.
If your complaint is that the thrill somehow seems to have disappeared from your sex life, try slowing it down and savouring each moment, each touch.

15. Dress up – or down.
It helps to re-stimulate sexual triggers if our partner can’t always be sure what we will look like and feel like when we make love.

If you usually go to bed wearing night-clothes, surprise them by suddenly appearing stark naked.

If you usually sleep naked, try making love in pyjamas or night-dress. Groping under the layers can be a new sensation.

Experiment with slinky silk and crisp cotton. Don’t be hidebound. They don’t make men’s boxer shorts in silk now for nothing. Mmm.

16. Take up a new interest together.
I’m sure you’re getting the message that a good sex life depends as much on how you appreciate yourselves and each other outside bed as in it.

As the years go on, couples can find that they share very few interests apart from the family and stop seeing each other as interesting individuals with whom it’s a pleasure to spend leisure time.

Make a positive effort to find a spare-time activity that you can regularly share – going for a swim at your local leisure centre, ten-pin bowling, badminton, joining a film club or local society.

17. Take turns making love.
Sometimes we can be so busy worrying whether we are turning our partner on that we are distanced from our own sexual responses, or so busy worrying whether we are getting turned on enough that we don’t really respond to our partner’s signals.

At least once a month take it in turns to caress one another while the other is free simply to enjoy and respond.

Don’t worry – when you are the active one, you will find it is a real thrill to concentrate wholly on pleasuring your partner, and that both of you will experience greater responsiveness when making love at other times.

It is important that you are meticulous about taking turns over who is active and who is passive, otherwise it can end up with one partner in effect “using” the other or on some sort of power trip.

18. Make love over the phone.
It doesn’t have to be heavy, but an occasional saucy message brightens the day.

19. If you’re depressed, DO something about it.
Even quite mild depression leads to your losing interest in sex. If there’s some imbalance in your relationship, your job is getting too much for you, or some row going on in the family is getting to you, you’ll feel less and less like making love.

If your partner doesn’t understand the problem and feels rejected and threatened, then this can add to your misery.

If you haven’t felt like making love for some time and there’s no other obvious reason, talk through your life with your partner and work out what might be getting you down and why.

Don’t just let some unhappy situation drag on. If your health might be involved, have a check with your GP.

20. Ring the changes.
At least once a week try to think of some little extra to add a touch of glamour or luxury to your love life – a bottle of sparkling wine, a scented oil, a flower.

Look afresh at your bedroom or the room where you usually make love.
Does it look like the setting for passion or the “before” picture from a DIY feature? As soon as you can afford it, change it.