You don’t need to wait till this to save a troubled marriage relationship
Couple married for thirty-two mostly unhappy years when they discovered that one of the partner had a cancerous, life-threatening tumor.
Prior to receiving the bad news, their relationship had been tense and less than loving. They were constantly bickering and irritable at one another. Conflict, anger, and frustration, but very little laughter or mutual love and respect filled their marriage.
A strange thing happened, however, when their doctor delivered the news. Their love for one another, which had been swallowed up with bitterness and negativity, suddenly returned—along with their perspective and
gratitude. They experienced what might be called a change or heart or a sudden shift.
The only thing that changed was their awareness of an illness. All sudden shifts are mental, it’s clear that it doesn’t necessarily have to take bad news to experience one.
Rather, all it takes is the genuine desire, openness, and willingness to see things differently, as well as a little humility, the willingness to admit that you must be stuck seeing something in a way that is hurting rather than helping your relationship or some other aspect of your life.
It’s helpful to state what you’d ideally like to see happen. For example, you might say, “1 know it must be me, but I don’t know what’s going on. I’d sure like to stop feeling and acting so defensive around my partner when she makes a suggestion.” An insight may occur—minutes, days, weeks, even months later.
But when it hits you, it really hits you. For instance, you might suddenly realize that your partner has a habit of making certain types of comments to everyone she meets and that they aren’t intended to be personal to anyone, including you. This insight might give you a sudden sense of perspective, which frees you from feeling defensive around her an insight that could change the course of your entire relationship.
A sudden shift can occur anytime, anywhere, and can surround virtually any set of circumstances.
Again, it’s all mental. Be open to the possibility that you, too, might experience a sudden shift in some aspect of your relationship. Perhaps you’ve always argued about something and you’d like to put an end to that chapter in your life, peacefully, without effort.
Or maybe you’ve fallen into the habit of taking your partner for granted, and it’s time for an appreciation wakeup call. Whatever the circumstance, it’s possible for you to have a sudden shift in the way you see it, an insight that will change your life for the better. Set the stage for a sudden insight and be on the lookout for what develops. You may be delighted at what occurs to you.
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