Some romance tips to give you love guide in your relationship for successful marriages
Romance tips
31. Do you need a boost? If you often avoid sex when your partner feels like it, yet you can’t put your finger on any real reason, it can often be because you are out of love with yourself rather than with your partner.
It’s hard to feel sexy if you don’t see yourself as attractive and personable.
Get out of this self-punishing cycle and give yourself as big a treat and ego-boost as you can afford. It might be new clothes and hairstyle, or perhaps an adventurous trip away, learning IT or some other new skill, working for a qualification – whatever fits your personal bill and makes you pleased with yourself.
32. Time for a change?
If you often feel like making love but are rebuffed by your partner, don’t dig in defensively and blame their lack of sex drive.
Ask what’s wrong. Suggest they describe what would be their idea of a perfect evening making love. Bite back the tendency to start to defend yourself and argue and blame. Just listen, then go away and think about it.
Then try to come as near to their outline as possible. After all, if it leads to more loving, you will have lost the battle to win the war.
If they still shy away, then suggest that their problems lie deeper than they think and you’d better get help from a Relationship counsellor.
33. Fuel your desires.
You won’t feel lively and energetic – sexually or in any other way – unless you provide your body with the right food to run on healthily.
This is probably more important as the years pass. If you are in any doubt whether you are eating the right diet for your lifestyle, your doctor will give you full details.
34. Stop smoking.
Smoking makes people smell and taste horrible.
If you smoke and your partner doesn’t, then you shouldn’t be surprised if they start to wince and turn away when you go to kiss them.
As you get older, smoking can seriously lower sexual responsiveness. All in all, smoking is the enemy of a good sex life.
35. Start exercising.
It’s hard to feel game for anything sexually if you are generally lethargic and out of shape. You don’t need to take up serious sport or hard exercise, but a toned up body is a more sexy body.
Get out for a good long walk once or twice a week, go for a swim, join a yoga class – anything that gives you more pleasure in your body will enable your body to give you more pleasure in return.
36. Stop comparing.
No more lectures on health – I mean stop comparing your present relationship with ones you have had in the past or what you imagine your friends and workmates enjoy.
Perhaps sex did more often seem passionate with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, but the whole setting of your relationship was different.
It was all probably newer to you then, your lives and relationship less encumbered with family and domestic responsibilities.
You’ve no idea of the reality of friends’ and colleagues’ love lives. If it’s true they are more passionate, then remember that you are half your relationship, and you chose your partner because something in you responded to them.
Don’t lament what you’re missing but look at what you have and how you can build on it or change it for the better.
37. Take a break.
Even if you have children, parents, jobs, it’s perfectly possible to plan your lives so that you have one day a month off alone together.
You don’t have to do anything expensive.
A bus ride into the country and a peaceful walk will do you both a power of good – and if it’s warm there are all sorts of inviting private places to make love with a breeze on your face – a great reviver of flagging passions.
38. Try anything – once.
It never hurts to try anything just once – as long as no physical pain or risk is involved.
A willingness to experiment is a way of physically saying “I love you” which will keep a partner feeling desired and therefore desiring.
On the other hand, never go on agreeing to do anything that turns you off just because you don’t want to offend or displease your partner.
Your first duty sexually is to yourself. If you try to ignore your own feelings, in the end it will block your pleasure and responsiveness sexually and so rebound in the very way you least want.
39. Say “I love you” at least once a day.
But only if you mean it! Saying “I love you” on autopilot as you pick up your coat, or through clenched teeth when you really long to have a row, means those special little words lose all meaning the times when it would be sincere.
However, do make it a regular habit that you tell your partner how much you care. We reserved British tend to think our partner must realise, but no-one is a mind reader and it’s always a turn-on to be told.
40. Don’t let rows freeze over.
If you do have a row – and most of us do sometimes – don’t let it settle down into frosty silence.
You may not be able to resolve the issue in a day but, if you still feel awkward together – enough at odds that a kiss and cuddle would be out of the question, let alone sex – at least say to your partner how sorry you are that you are at loggerheads and put your arm round them.
That establishes the reality that you still care for one another in general and limits the conflict.
Chances are your partner will be more ready to appreciate your point of view after a friendly gesture like that in any case, and your love life won’t founder on icebergs.
Related posts:
