Sexual Adjustment
Sexual attraction plays a major part in bringing two people together and leading to marriage. A major component of continued satisfaction in marriage is a quality sexual relationship. A mutually satisfying sexual relationship, however, does not just happen automatically. As with other aspects of personality, a partner’s sexuality is individual. Each person should approach the sexual relationship with respect and understanding for the other. Some general observations and considerations about the sexual relationship might include the following:
*Sexual relationship and other aspects of marital life are interrelated, meaning that conflict or intense concern over money, for example, can detract from sexual interest.
*Each partner may have different ideas about what is “right” and what is “wrong” in sex life. In reality, there are no “rights” or “wrongs” in sexual activity between a couple, except what each may believe to be acceptable or unacceptable behavior. Personal beliefs should be honored and respected.
*As is mutually agreeable between the two partners, it is a good idea to experiment with ways to keep the sexual relationship from becoming boring or routine.
*Try not to be overly influenced by sexuality portrayed in the media, movies, or television. Only you and your partner can decide what is acceptable and satisfying for the two of you. Don’t try to fit your relationship into someone else’s idea of what is “normal” sexual behavior.
*Continue to learn more about your partner than about specific sex techniques. Maleness and femaleness is mysterious; try to be open to learn about that mystery.
*Some make sex a weapon in dealing with other conflicts in their relationship. Doing so magnifies the original problem, and can lead to sexual problems as well.
As with other issues in the marriage partnership, a satisfying sex life depends a great deal on open channels of communication. Try to deal with conflict situations as they arise, so they won’t have an adverse effect on your sexual relationship.
It is difficult to be romantic or sexually responsive when other conflictual issues are pending. Don’t be afraid to discuss your sex life with your partner. Share with him or her your likes, dislikes, feelings, desires, fantasies, etc. Share and learn together.
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