POSITIVE SPIN TO CURE MARRIAGE CRISIS
In politics, the term spin has taken on a negative connotation.
Whether conservative or liberal, the term implies a false or misleading
“slant” with self-interest in mind.
In personal relationships, however, it’s a far different story. The idea of putting a positive spin on the events, circumstances, and challenges of your relationship can become one of the most important habits you can incorporate into your life together. In fact, in the absence of this habit, virtually anything—big or small—has the power to upset or frustrate you.
So much of our experience depends on how we look at it. There’s a story
of two male bricklayers who have identical jobs. Someone asks the first man,
“What is it that you do?” He answers in a negative tone, obviously feeling
sorry for himself: “I sit here every day laying one stupid brick on top of
another.” The man turns to the other bricklayer and asks the same question.
His response is quite different. He says in a confident, upbeat manner, “I am
a craftsman. I help build all the beautiful buildings you see around you.
Without my contribution, none of this would be here.”
The moral of the story is that both men are right!
A couple who had lost everything they owned in a horrible fire.
They decided it was a blessing in disguise. Their position was that it gave
them a chance to start over and to rebuild their lives together from the
ground up, literally!
Another couple who lost their life savings to a slimy con scheme.
Yet, rather than let it ruin their lives and make them feel like bitter victims,
they made a different decision. They decided that they had become too
greedy and materialistic. This event, painful as it was, was their chance to
reevaluate their priorities and live a much simpler life.
The same facts could, and often do, tear couples apart.
Yet, it’s easy to see that you can take almost any situation and look at it
in two ways. You can look for what’s in it for you, any hidden gifts that
might be found, and for what you can learn from it. Or you can take the
more common view and see virtually all difficulties and hassles as simply
more evidence that life is hard and unfair.
Obviously, reading this strategy doesn’t mean you’ll always be able to
look at events from a more positive perspective (we can’t either), but it’s
sure comforting to know that the possibility exists.
Whether it’s something relatively minor—your date shows up late or
stands you up, your husband has too much to drink one night, your wife flirts with another man, your spouse isn’t pulling his weight with the household chores—or something more serious—your child gets into a little trouble, you are forced to relocate to a new city, one of you loses your job, or you suffer a physical problem—you always have the option of putting a positive slant on it, once you think you do.
You could say, “Oh sure, that’s pie-in-the-sky thinking.” But you might
want to ask yourself, “What options do I have?” The only option we’re aware
of is to be negative—to put a defeatist, pessimistic slant on it. But when you
think about it, that’s not a very good option.
All this does is make any situation worse and harder to deal with than it already is. It also tends to make everyone around you feel depressed and insecure, and decreases your chances of getting through the situation gracefully or effectively.
Our experience has been that whenever we are able to put a positive
slant on a situation—whatever it is—it helps us to grow as a couple, come up
with creative solutions, and keep things in perspective. It keeps bad days
from becoming worse and difficult experiences from tearing us down.
Our position is clear—whenever possible, it’s always best to put a positive slant on your experiences.
Stop Your Break Up, Divorce or Lovers Rejection
“After one day, again one day, my changed attitude had my ex calling and wanting to see me. I won’t take his calls but this showed me that the changes you showed me, worked…you have helped me more than you will ever know… ”
A “recipe for love” as well as a recipe for winning back and keeping some ones interest, desire, passion, heart and love… Learn how to win your ex back
