Marrying the Whole Family — In-laws
Like it or not, marrying someone usually involves the formation of several relationships other than the husband-wife union. A person entering marriage automatically gains a father-in-law, a mother-in-law, sisters- or brothers-in-law, plus a variety of extended family members related to your new spouse. Although you don’t technically marry the whole family, your relationship to your spouse may be largely affected by how well you get along with his/her family. Realistically, it is important to remember that your spouse will likely reflect the values, attitudes, personality, and behaviors which you observe in his/her parent and grandparent generations.
Helpful hints for a positive relationship with your new family might include:
*Respect your in-laws as family members of the spouse you love.
*Don’t compare your spouse’s family with your own.
*Don’t run to your own parents for support when you have conflict with your spouse.
*Don’t direct anger you may feel for your spouse toward his or her family.
*Establish a family atmosphere that avoids a contest between your two families for your time, attention and affection.
*Treat both families equally and fairly.
*As a couple, try to establish as much independence from both families as possible. For example, it may create conflict to borrow money from in-laws.
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Tags: affection, difficult in laws, extended family, family atmosphere, family members, generations, hate my in laws, helpful hints, husband wife, i hate my in laws, in laws problems, mother in law, time attention, two families
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