Lee’s face it: Premenstrual syndrome, or PMS, is real. I know, because every month since I was a young teen (other than when I was pregnant), I’ve had it. And chances are, if you’re a woman, you have had it too. It’s one of those unavoidable aspects of being female.
Over the years, I’ve learned that when my thoughts start getting a little crazy or when I’m in a particularly melancholy mood, I take a look at my calendar, and lo and behold, it’s usually a week or so before my period. Everyday, ordinary events that are usually taken in stride suddenly seem like irritants or emergencies.
As if it wasn’t bad enough to go through PMS yourself, it’s even worse that your partner has to share this experience with you.
It’s important for women not to use PMS as an ongoing excuse to blow up, or for irrational behavior. On the other hand, it’s helpful to become aware of your symptoms and to understand that what you are feeling, due to PMS, makes everything look worse than it really is; little things are blown out of proportion.
Understanding this helps you make certain allowances for the way you are feeling. You can begin to understand that, despite the urgency and frustration you feel, things are not as bad as they seem. PMS might be seen as the ultimate form of a low mood. And, as in any low mood, the best you can usually do is understand that “this too shall pass,”
Sharing this information with your partner will help him understand these timely and predictible moods you go through. You’ll find it enormously helpful if both of you make a mental note or mark your calendar. Ideally, each of you can make special allowances during this difficult time and, hard as it may be, try to be extra compassionate and patient.
It’s important to keep your perspective about life during these times. With perspective and awareness, you realize that, despite what it looks and feels like, life really hasn’t temporarily gone crazy. This reminds you that your ability to deal with stress will soon return to normal.
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